My name is Chantelle Rodgers. I live in the middle of Canada, in Saskatchewan, with my two amazing kids. I have been connecting to my heart for years, and I love to share my journey with others through writing and on my podcast.
Connecting to my heart is the most important part of my day and it has been for years. As I continue to get deeper and deeper into my heart, it continues to open more. Staying connected to my heart helped me through my divorce, through parenting and through life. It helped me survive six Cancers in six years, and it helped me grieve the sudden loss of my beautiful mom. Connecting to my heart healed me of the mental health struggles I had my whole adult life. I no longer suffer from depression, anxiety or PTSD. I was able to heal naturally – in nature, with God and by becoming more love every single day. Life continues to have more meaning because I spend way more time connected to what matters most. I stay connected here, to my heart, in this moment.
I think it would be accurate to say that I never knew how to love myself. I ran from life instead. I was always running or fighting; I was freezing or pleasing. I wasn’t living and I wasn’t loving. I was escaping. I was always escaping.
I got married in 2005 and had two beautiful children, but the marriage was not based on love – how could I love anyone else before I even loved myself? I finally left my marriage in 2015, and it felt like my heart shattered. I made poor decision after poor decision. It was way too painful to face life and feel it, so I ran from it instead. I ran from my own heart and as I did, I had a hard time being a loving mom for my two kids. I was shattered and broken, and I am sure they were too.
Looking back, I would say a huge turning point in my life was when I was diagnosed with Cancer in 2018. The second I was diagnosed, I knew God was telling me my old life was over. I knew God wasn’t pissing around any longer. I knew it was time to do my work.
I will never forget the first time I sat in the chemo chair at the Cancer Clinic. I had spent 11 years working as an Intuitive Healer, watching clients heal from much more severe Cancers and issues than mine. Not only did I not get the healing I prayed and hoped and paid a lot of money for, I had to rely on drugs that I had judged and hated and blamed for many years.
When the needle entered my skin, it was time to surrender. Nothing was going to heal me. No one was going to save me. I was where I was meant to be. It was time to let go and let God. As I felt the drugs dripping from the bag into my veins, I began to cry and say, “thank you.” I didn’t really know who I was thanking and why. It wasn’t me saying it, it was coming from inside me. I didn’t know what had ignited it, but something so magical was happening. I had felt it on the operating table, I had felt it in the hospital, I felt it when I was most afraid. I had never felt that much love and peace in my life, but every time I felt afraid and alone, I felt it…
The love and peace I felt set me on a new path and that path led me through a lot of challenges. I have lived through many versions of hell since then. My walk through hell led me through a much more severe and scary Cancer journey that included multiple surgeries, 16 more rounds of chemo and more needles than I ever want to count. It led me through getting so sick and almost dying many times. It led me through Covid, lockdowns, and homeschooling my kids for three years. And then, it led me through grieving the sudden death of my beautiful mama.
I’ve lived through a lot of hell so I feel like I can genuinely say to you, “no matter how much it hurts, you will get through it.” There will always be meaning that can be found through your mess and there will always be a purpose to your pain. The key is to face it when you are called to face it. We can run instead of face. We can run in so many ways. Running keeps our pain locked away and when our pain remains locked away, we never reach the meaning because we avoid the mess.
I am here to help you face life. I know how hard it can be. I know how much it can hurt. It can hurt like a son of a bitch. It feels like royal fuckery, it truly, truly does. But, you cannot get to the other side of what you do not face. You will not get to the other side of the fuckery if you do not face it. Don’t stop. Don’t stop stepping. Keep facing. Trust me, you WILL get to other side. I know you will because I did. I continue to face what life deals me because I know what is on the other side. On the other side is love. On the other side is peace. On the other side is freedom. On the other side is meaning and connection and gratitude and humility and so much more that I am sure I have yet to experience.
After completing treatments for my first Cancer, I was diagnosed with severe depression and severe anxiety – of course I was. I did not think I could stop myself from taking my own life, so I moved to a tiny cabin in the wilderness. When I was nature, I wanted to live. Every single day, I went out into nature, and I cried and screamed and banged sticks on trees. I expressed what I was feeling out to God, and then, I would sit in my tiny cabin and write what God spoke through me. I self-published my first book called, “On Earth, as it is in Heaven” near the end of 2020 and have continued to write since then.
When I write, I share openly and honestly about my journey, and I write the insights I feel in my heart after expressing out what I was hanging onto. I have self-published 10 books, in hopes to help others connect to their hearts, so they can face what they may feel too ashamed or afraid to.
I am here to help you feel less afraid. I am here to help you feel less angry. I am here to help you feel less ashamed. I am here to help you feel less messy. When you free those parts of you, love will take the place of the fear that once held you.
All you ever have to do is love yourself a little more every day. Eventually, once you have filled yourself with enough love, you will have extra to give away! I love myself more than I ever thought was possible. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could. If every person on the planet loved themselves a little more every day, perhaps we wouldn’t see hatred or separation or war or illness. We would all be way too busy loving! Love truly is the answer.
Let LOVE Lead today and every day.
